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    Aid to navigation

    You will see that I could obviously post this item elsewhere, and perhaps it is too serious-minded for "General Camping". But we all have to navigate on our outings, so here goes.

    Sailors used to plumb the depths with a lead line, and coming "in from foreign" they frequently applied tallow to the lead and inspected what was stuck to it when brought up. This could be compared to the type of bottom (mud, sand, shells etc) shown on the charts. Deep-sea sailors would watch the birds, for the likelihood of a nearby island where they might roost.

    I've found a topical and relevant aid to navigation for camper vanners who are too skint or snooty to use sat nav, and this technique is also ornithological.

    If you follow the byeways rather than highways, and certainly not motorways when you can avoid them, you will encounter village ponds. The ducks there will tell you where you are, and this is always useful for navigation (after the yokel's advice: "If I were going there, Sir, I wouldn't start from here.....").

    Starting in the South, ducks say "Quark" (perhaps there are more vegetarians down there). That is, except for Tunbridge Wells where they say "Quaik".

    Moving north of Watford to Yorkshire, the ducks say "Quack". (As we all know, Yorkshire people don't have baths, they have batths).

    Further north still, I'm sorry to have to write that south of the River Tyne our local ducks say "Quack effing quack". North of the River they can even be heard to say "Effing quack effing quack". I don't know what they do when they cross the River.

    I hate to think what they say in Scotland.

    So with this knowledge, at least you know roughly where you are, and this is always a good start........

    Paul.
    Seek to make a virtue of necessity.

    #2
    Originally posted by Doblo7 View Post
    You will see that I could obviously post this item elsewhere, and perhaps it is too serious-minded for "General Camping". But we all have to navigate on our outings, so here goes.

    Sailors used to plumb the depths with a lead line, and coming "in from foreign" they frequently applied tallow to the lead and inspected what was stuck to it when brought up. This could be compared to the type of bottom (mud, sand, shells etc) shown on the charts. Deep-sea sailors would watch the birds, for the likelihood of a nearby island where they might roost.

    I've found a topical and relevant aid to navigation for camper vanners who are too skint or snooty to use sat nav, and this technique is also ornithological.

    If you follow the byeways rather than highways, and certainly not motorways when you can avoid them, you will encounter village ponds. The ducks there will tell you where you are, and this is always useful for navigation (after the yokel's advice: "If I were going there, Sir, I wouldn't start from here.....").

    Starting in the South, ducks say "Quark" (perhaps there are more vegetarians down there). That is, except for Tunbridge Wells where they say "Quaik".

    Moving north of Watford to Yorkshire, the ducks say "Quack". (As we all know, Yorkshire people don't have baths, they have batths).

    Further north still, I'm sorry to have to write that south of the River Tyne our local ducks say "Quack effing quack". North of the River they can even be heard to say "Effing quack effing quack". I don't know what they do when they cross the River.

    I hate to think what they say in Scotland.

    So with this knowledge, at least you know roughly where you are, and this is always a good start........

    Paul.
    But they do not have ducks darn Sarth do they? I thought they had "dax"! Aren't they different?
    Jim.
    Last edited by Twolitre; 02-11-2011, 15:21.
    Keeping people waiting is stealing a part of their lives.

    Comment


      #3
      So what do the ducks say in Wales or is it unpronouncable?

      Comment


        #4
        twin1

        Originally posted by mari2chris View Post
        So what do the ducks say in Wales or is it unpronouncable?
        Poor me, I am a Quack living in Quark land!

        Comment


          #5
          Chesterfield

          I thought all the " Ducks " came from Chesterfield lol :so happy:

          Comment


            #6
            twin1

            Originally posted by alf39 View Post
            I thought all the " Ducks " came from Chesterfield lol :so happy:
            Oh no.there are quite a few in Sheffield.

            Comment


              #7
              No, No, NO.
              All the ducks used to be clippies on London Transport! They had not been taught to quack, just to say "ducks".
              We only have one female duck at a time in Chesterfield.
              Isn't that right Duck?
              Jim.
              Keeping people waiting is stealing a part of their lives.

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by twin1 View Post
                Oh no.there are quite a few in Sheffield.
                No thems de an dah's
                Alf

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by mari2chris View Post
                  So what do the ducks say in Wales or is it unpronouncable?
                  Possibly Yacki Yak? Phonetically anyway.
                  Keeping people waiting is stealing a part of their lives.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by Twolitre View Post
                    Possibly Yacki Yak? Phonetically anyway.
                    the last time we were there it was

                    Yacki Dah

                    Alf
                    Last edited by alf39; 02-11-2011, 21:36.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Hi! Doblo7. Well done, I think you've quacked it! Graham (and Carole)

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by alf39 View Post
                        the last time we were ther it was

                        Yacki Dah

                        Alf
                        Yeah, but can ducks say "Dah"?
                        Jim.
                        Keeping people waiting is stealing a part of their lives.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by Twolitre View Post
                          Yeah, but can ducks say "Dah"?
                          Jim.
                          Only welsh ones duck
                          Alf

                          Comment


                            #14
                            I'm glad I've quacked it, Graham and Pauline. Not before time!

                            Our clippies (for which read checkout ladies at Netto's) say "Flower".

                            I ask: "Cauliflower?".

                            I'm not sure they get it. Sometimes we do, and sometimes we don't (the cauliflower, that is).

                            Paul.
                            Seek to make a virtue of necessity.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              You're quite right about the dax, Jim. If you hear one of them you are near, or on, the River at Windsor (or perhaps Wimbledon). If you're on the River you need a DUKWmotorhome. They (the ducks) there say Quork.

                              In reply to mari2chris, ducks just off the coast of Wales say: "Quack buoyo, quack" though some Welsh ducks are brighter than others.

                              Sorry, Graham and Pauline, I confused yous with Graham and Carole. The sentiment still applies, though.

                              I'm a bit apprehensive that someone will tell us what ducks DO say in Scotland.

                              Paul.
                              Seek to make a virtue of necessity.

                              Comment

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